


you made me lose myself

by joshlerbitches



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Lucas, Declarations Of Love, Eliott comforts him, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Lucas is insecure, M/M, Rimming, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Eliott, fight, make-up sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 22:06:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19159909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshlerbitches/pseuds/joshlerbitches
Summary: eliott and lucas fight, which made me write a make up sex scene. enjoy!





	you made me lose myself

"There was nothing between us! Leave it, Lucas!" Eliott shouts, his expression ice cold, which is quite the contrary to Lucas' one, because on his face there are thousands of different emotions. Pain is mixed up with frustration, rage with sadness and there's just so much hurt in the small boy's tearful eyes that Eliott has to refrain himself from walking over to him, pulling him into his arms and never letting go.

 

"How can I leave it when my boyfriend fucking lies to me and goes behind my back!?" Right, back to rage again. The more Lucas screams at him, the more irritated Eliott gets and he knows he has to go out, get some fresh air before he bursts, before he says things he will regret and before he fucking caves. 

 

This argument was entirely Lucas' fault and he's fed up with how little trust his boy puts in him. After three months of constantly being with each other he'd expect a little more.

 

"When have I ever went behind your back!? When have I lied to you!? You're exaggerating, Lucas. You're so fucking immature," he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He should calm down, he must calm down. But he can't, not right now and especially not when next sentence leaves his boyfriend's lips.

 

"You lied about being bipolar, you lied about Lucille, you talk with Imane about her brother and you didn't even think about telling me about it. You're hiding something and I know it involves Idriss, because you're always so tense when we talk about him. So you are going behind my back," the short boy grits out and Eliott sees his urge to break down. He does nothing about it. If so, he even aggravates it.

 

"You and your idiotic abandonment issues! This shit is so annoying. I'm tired of fucking listening to how your daddy drank himself to death and left you alone as a child and that you didn't have a father. It's about that, am I right? You're scared that I'm gonna leave you? If you are, calm the fuck down because you're starting to be obsessed like Lucille and it's so pathetic—"

 

He gets interrupted by a loud slap and in a matter of seconds he realizes that Lucas slapped him. He clutches at his reddening cheek in response, his eyes troubled.

 

"Get out."

 

Fuck. He really fucked up.

 

It's like his brain couldn't switch on when he really needed it in their argument, it has to switch on now and yell at him what an idiot he was. He runs a hand through his hair, to ease the tension and to come up with something clever to say, but he's interrupted again.

 

"I mean it, Eliott. Get the fuck out! I don't want you here!" Lucas screams and basically he pushes his boyfriend out of the room, making him stumble as he's out and the lock to his boy's room turns. He sighs and bangs his head on the wall behind him. Fuck.

 

"What happened?"

 

"Imane?" He asks, already seeking for a pack of Red Marlboros he had somewhere in the pockets of his jeans. "What are you doing here?" He heads to the balcony, pulling out one cigarette and putting it between his lips. They open the glazed doors, he goes out into the chilly afternoon and lights up the previously mentioned cigarette.

 

"I came to talk with Manon, but apparently, she's still busy fighting with Charles. What happened between you two?" She nods in the direction of Lucas' room, making Eliott snort and take a long drag of the lethal substance.

 

"It'll be easier to answer if you ask what didn't happen between us," he jokes, scrutinizing the horizon in front of him before letting the tears well up in his eyes and leave the. "It's all about Idriss and I don't know what to tell him. I love him so much, Imane. I don't ever want him to feel burdened by my past. I can't tell him about the suicide attempt, I can't tell him about having sex with your brother, I can't tell him that I'm able to pull off shit like that. I'm scared I'll lose him."

 

"You'll lose him if you don't tell him, Eliott. He's not going to leave you for your past mistakes. What's important is that you need to learn how to communicate with each other. You can't build a healthy relationship on mistrust. That's how you started off his Lucille, remember? Don't make the same mistake twice," Imane pats him on his back, earning an eyebrow raise and a small smile, even though it was clear how shitty Eliott feels.

 

"But I told him so many mean things a few minutes ago. I doubt that he'll want to see me right now. Fuck, I'm a shit boyfriend. I should take care about him and be there for him. I should fucking hold him in my arms right now," Eliott starts rubbing his temple as he feels a dull ache inside his head, the announcement of an upcoming migraine.

 

"Eliott, shut up. You're an amazing boyfriend. Yes, you have your bad days, such as this, but I see how Lucas talks about you. How he beams when he tells us about your dates or how he melts while talking about how gentle and caring you are or how he writhes on his seat on our last period of biology on Friday, not wanting to wait to see you. He's so in love with you that it's verging on disgusting. It just hurts him to be left in the dark, so that's why you need to tell him. He tells you about everything in his life. I bet he has told you his darkest desires and deepest secrets, because that's just how he is. Hell, Eliott, you're the man of his life! Go over him, ask for forgiveness and tell him everything. I promise, everything will be alright," the girl hugs him tightly, which he reciprocates and then she loses herself in further in the apartment.

 

He finishes his cigarette, repeats what he wants to say a few times before he walks over to Lucas' door, leans on it and knocks gently.

 

"Leave me alone," he hears from the inside and Lucas' voice is clearly think from tears. His hearts breaks again as he grimaces.

 

"Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I said it because I was angry and you pissed me off with cornering me. I promise I'll tell you everything, from the beginning, but you need to let me in, if you want me to do that," he says gently, trying to sound as earnestly as possible. "I'm so fucking sorry. I love you so, so much."

 

There's a minute break before the door is unlocked in which Eliott thinks he won't get an answer. But fortunately, he does and as soon as he's let in, he locks the door again to avoid Manon, Charles or Mika storming in.

 

He sees his boyfriend balling on his bed, curling as much as he can and it breaks his heart once more. He sighs before he gets slowly on the bed and he wraps an arm around his boy in a comforting manner. He hopes that Lucas doesn't mind, because if he did, his heart would shatter for the third time.

 

"Shh, I'm so sorry, baby," he whispers into Lucas' hair, nuzzling his nose in it and breathing in his boyfriend's chocolate shampoo. "I love you. I know I'm repeating myself, but I really do love you. Sometimes I just can't control myself and I say stupid things. I hate myself when I hurt you. I fucking hate myself right now."

 

"Don't," he hears a faint reply, muffled by the surrounding pillows and slight sniffles. "I- I understand. I love you too, Eliott, b-but you need to start telling me things. It's not normal to h-hide things in a relationship and I don't want us to lose trust in one another."

 

"I know. I'll tell you everything," Eliott murmurs into the boy's neck and places a soft kiss there. "Anything you want to know, okay? And most importantly, I'm sorry once again about saying so hurtful things about your father and your family. You know that I don't mean that. Please, tell me you know."

 

"I know," he hears Lucas sigh and the younger adolescent wipes his tears before turning on his back, staring at the ceiling. "I'm sorry too, you know?"

 

"No, Lucas, you have nothing to be sorry about. It's all on me, I'm the worst fucking boyfriend—"

 

"Let me finish," his boyfriend finally looks at him and his eyes are more blue than ever. Eliott drowns in them again and again. "I'm sorry for pushing the subject. I know that I shouldn't force you to talk to me, but I guess I am a little... jealous? I'm sorry for not trusting you, but you know I have this problem with everyone. I didn't even trust Yann to tell him about my sexuality first. You have to understand, I- I don't mean—"

 

"Shh," Eliott puts his hand on the boy's soft cheek and caresses gently. "I understand. You don't have nothing to worry about. I know you only do this, because you love me and you care about me, but I think that sometimes I need to be reminded. Reminded that you aren't doing this to control or babysit me, okay?" He kisses his boy on the cheek chastely and his hand still caresses the other one. "I love you, mon amour. You're the best thing that's happened in my life. Never forget that. Even when I'm a selfish asshole sometimes, my heart is yours."

 

"You're so fucking cheesy," Lucas chuckles lightly, his chest rumbling with laughter as he stares at his loved one with that expression of his that silently begs for a kiss. Eliott's even more sure of it when he hears his plea. "Kiss me, Eliott."

 

And it takes him less than a nanosecond to put his lips on the younger boy's rosy, plump lips.

 

It starts off slow. Just lips brushing another pair of lips, but then Lucas gets his hand underneath his boyfriend's t-shirt and grazes the skin there. Eliott shudders at the contact and gasps, which makes the younger slip his tongue inside his mouth and explore.

 

Eliott, as if on instinct, pushes gently his left knee between Lucas' legs and he basks in how pliant his boyfriend already is, spreading his legs willingly. The older adolescent chuckles at that thought and positions himself fully between his boy's legs, his hands coming up the younger's t-shirt, brushing against the warm skin.

 

The kisses get hotter, Lucas moans into it as Eliott bites his bottom lip gently and when he sucks on his tongue. It's amazing, for Eliott at least, how much of an effect he has on this boy beneath him. He always knew that he wasn't particularly ugly, but he never thought it would come to this — having Lucas Lallemant, trembling in his arms just because of some kissing. It boosts his ego incredibly.

 

He pulls away for a second, making his lover whine at the loss of warm lips, and he pulls off his t-shirt through his head. He sees how Lucas' gaze changes, from wary and hurt to a complete desire. He looks like a man who's been starved for a month and then they finally gave him a feast, all for himself.

 

"Like what you see?" Eliott chuckles, before focusing on undoing his belt, when two slightly smaller hands find his torso and wander. He knows Lucas loves getting to feel every curve of his body, every tense muscle, probably to somehow ground himself and remind that this is real.

 

Eliott finally pulls off his jeans, leaving his boxers on and comes back to Lucas, who's devouring him right now with his eyes. The small kisses begin again, mouths never leaving each other as they taste themselves on their tongues. It turns into a full on make out session and even though, Eliott is painfully hard in his boxers, he wouldn't change anything about it.

 

But soon his consciousness finally takes over and he starts having doubts. Should they make love after those horrible things he said? How Lucas is able to forgive him, when he probably wouldn't forgive himself? What about Idriss situation they need to discuss? What about trust issues? 

 

He pulls away a bit.

 

"Lucas, do you want to? I- I mean, I told you such horrible things, I wouldn't want to touch me if I were you," he grimaces slightly, turning away his gaze and focusing on the very interesting drawing Lucas has stuck to the wall next to him. It was Eliott's drawing of him with a love confession written underneath. He gulps audibly when he feels small fingertips grazing his V-line softly.

 

"I want you, baby," Lucas whispers, his fingers dipping into his boyfriend's boxers and squeezing it firmly, making Eliott gasp and fall over a little bit as sudden spasm of pleasure makes him lose his composure. "I know you're sorry and I know we need to talk. We will talk, but after this, because right now I need you."

 

"Okay, okay," Eliott whispers to himself as if to gain courage before he leans down and starts peppering the softest kisses on Lucas' jaw. "Can you pull this off, baby?" Eliott tugs on the hem of his boy's t-shirt, pulling away again and helping Lucas lose more and more clothing, which ended up scattered on the floor.

 

When they're both in their boxers Eliott reaches for the nightstand, where he knows that Lucas keeps lube. It's near the end of the drawer, so no one from the coloc would unexpectedly come across it.

 

A peculiar proudness washes over him as he sees that the bottle is almost empty. He's glad he satisfies his boyfriend in that field, even if sometimes they have worse moments.

 

He quickly lubes up his fingers abundantly and before he can reach for his boy's boxers, they're already off. He chuckles lovingly, staring at Lucas' body, which is fucking divine, by the way. It makes the smaller boy slap the abs on his stomach and mutter to hurry up. He huffs out another laugh before he dives in again, capturing softly his boy's lips and presses his middle and forefinger to his entrance, circling his rim.

 

"Mmm, love you," Lucas whispers into his lips as one finger breaches him and chases Eliott's lips once again. He gasps as his boyfriend gently, as always, starts moving the finger in and out. It makes him clutch at Eliott's shoulders and let out a cry of pleasure.

 

"I love you too," replies Eliott and his gaze suddenly lights up, then he's pulling out the forefinger. "Turn around, mon amour."

 

Lucas does so, obediently, burrowing his head in the fluffy pillow on his bed. He feels a trail of open-mouthed kisses on his back, leading to his lower parts, making his breath hitch.

 

"Oh, that's what you mean. We haven't done it for so long," on Lucas' face a small smile appeared, making Eliott spread his legs gently and kiss the younger adolescent's inner thigh.

 

"I know, we should do it more often, though. I don't understand why we stopped," the older adolescent starts sucking bruises on his boy's ass, parting his cheeks and nosing the fluttering rim there. It makes Lucas moan so loud that he has to muffle it by hiding his face in the pillow again.

 

"I think we stopped, because you're always so eager to get inside me and we usually don't have so much time," Lucas gasps as another hickey is sucked, very near his entrance. "Eliott, please. Don't tease."

 

"We have to find some more time then, because I almost forgot how I love doing this for you," Eliott murmurs and finally his lips touch the hole, kissing around it and sucking on it lightly. He does everything with utmost carefulness, because he needs Lucas to know how much he's infatuated and in love with him. So much that he wouldn't even so much as look romantically at another person.

 

Lucas involuntarily spreads his legs wider as Eliott also spreads his cheeks apart, admiring the way his boyfriend hole practically winks at him. He immediately dives in again and starts off with lapping at the hole, gently pressing a tongue in, from time to time. It makes the younger adolescent shudder, his toes curl and the expression on his face is pure bliss. He is gone.

 

The older man starts peppering kisses all over the hole, the perineum before he starts sucking at the rim harder and pushes in his tongue, along with his forefinger, which he curls inside knowingly, not even having to seek for the prostate, because they've had sex so many times he knows Lucas' body better than his own.

 

The smaller boy jolts on the bed as soon as Eliott brushes it and then it's clear that no pillow or even a gag would stop his boy from screaming his insides out. The older adolescent devours hungrily with his eyes how Lucas clenches his fists in the sheets, how his bottom lip trembles and how the only thing he can say right now is Eliott's name. He's chanting it like his life matters on it.

 

Soon, the older brunette slides a second finger inside, rubs the prostate harder, while his tongue doesn't stop its magic, and then he stops putting pressure on the sweet spot, in order to stretch Lucas out as much as possible, because Eliott isn't exactly one of the small size. The first few times they had a problem with Lucas crying from the burning stretch of the older's cock buried to a hilt inside him. It made Eliott's shatter, but then, in time, Lucas grew to enjoy his boyfriend big size.

 

Eliott slips in the third finger and does this motion of curling and uncurling his fingers inside his boy before rubbing the prostate again, while his tongue relaxed Lucas' rim, so he wouldn't tense. The room is filled with 'oh, fuck, Eliott' and the smaller boy's seductive tone is making Eliott's head spin.

 

When he deems his boy properly stretched, he pulls out gently his fingers and places one last kiss on the latter hole. He quickly lubes himself up, sighing at the contact of his hand with his cock, whereas Lucas turns over on his back, so he's able to look at Eliott. The older knows that his lover needs to look at him to completely succumb to the pleasure he's giving him. He doesn't question it, never. He understands that it's probably connected to the trust or abandonment issues that Lucas' father imposed on him, but he doesn't mind. He also loves to look at how his lover's expression changes when he enters him or when he kisses him fiercely with more love than he could ever conduct with words.

 

"I love you," whispers Eliott again, covering over Lucas' body again and kissing him a few times, the younger wrapping his legs around the older adolescent's waist. "You're the most important person in my life. I know we're together for less than even half a year, but it feels like I've known you forever. Lucas, you're my home, you're my refuge, you're the love of my life - I'm sure of it. I'm really fucking sorry for being so undeserving of you, because I know that sometimes I'm such a dick—"

 

"Eliott, shut up," he feels two soft hands cradling his cheeks, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. "Yes, sometimes you're a dick, but that's how it is. Couples fight. And I do understand that what you're telling me when you're angry isn't true, because when we're okay you show me at every step that you love me more than anything and it makes me believe you. How you touch me, how you take care of me, how you kiss me and how you look at me in the crowd - it all shows how much you love me and, believe me, I see it. I love you too, so much you cannot even comprehend, but I hope that sometimes in future you will."

 

Eliott has tears in his eyes by the end of Lucas' speech, who gently presses their lips together again and one of his hands placed on the older's cheek moves to his hair and tugs at it.

 

"Now, I'd be really grateful if you finally took me," Lucas sighs, visibly relaxing under Eliott's loving gaze. The latter lines himself up, the head of his cock catches on Lucas' rim and then he pushes in slowly, very carefully, because he hates the look of pain that flashes his boy's face every time he goes in too quick.

 

"You're so beautiful, Lucas," Eliott whispers after he studies carefully every little expression his boyfriend makes as he's inside him. "I can't believe you allow me to watch you like this."

 

"Shut up, you're so cheesy," Lucas pushes at his chest, a small chuckle earning its way out of his chest. Eliott pushes in some more, making the boy underneath him gasp and clutch at his hair desperately. "You're beautiful too, you know?"

 

Eliott smiles, biting his lip a little bit, refraining it from becoming a full grin. Then he pushes once more, bottoming out, knowing that he has to stay still for a few seconds for his boy to adjust. He presses kisses anywhere he can reach. Lips, nose, cheeks, jaw, neck, collarbones... The older adolescent showers the younger in affection, trying to somehow still apologize for his previous outburst.

 

"Move, baby," he hears a faint whisper in his ear and that's all it takes for him to slowly pull out, until Lucas was wrapped only around his tip and then come back in, in a slow, gentle and loving motion.

 

They usually have rough, hard sex, because Lucas usually likes to be fucked thoroughly and Eliott doesn't mind, but right now he knows they both need some deep and sensual lovemaking. That's why his hips never speed up and he basks in the way Lucas' mouth falls agape, eyes squinted a little as he succumbs to the pleasure Eliott provides.

 

The older boy angles his hips in the direction that always leads to Lucas screaming and writhing underneath him and when he touches that sweet spot inside his boyfriend, the latter cries out, tightening his legs around the older's waist and clutching on his hair even more if that's possible.

 

The pace is slow and Eliott does his best to hit the prostate with every thrust, to pull out so sensually that his lover will feel every inch of the older adolescent entering him and then leaving him. He ensures to smother Lucas with kisses, nothing then love seeping out of them.

 

He tightens his hand around Lucas' thigh, while the older slides over the boy's body, pinches his nipple and then, Eliott's thumb is on his bottom lip, outlining its shape before Lucas pulls the thumb in, sucks and moans around it. It makes the older boy shudder with sudden want.

 

It's almost impossible, but Eliott feels like with each thrust he buries deeper inside his lover, eliciting a wave of moans out of him and neither of them care about Charles and Manon drama, about Imane being in the living room or about Mika and Lisa eavesdropping. It's their moment and nothing is going to ruin it.

 

The tight, wet heat of Lucas' intimate parts makes Eliott clench his teeth. He doesn't understand how his boy can feel so good every time they make love. He's always so tight, so responsive, so sensual. It makes Eliott's mind resemble scrambled eggs at that moment and there is nothing he can think of besides the way Lucas holds onto him, the way he digs the heels of his feet into Eliott's loins, the way he clenches around his member after the older brunette touches his sweet spot just right.

 

The pleasure around his dick is incredible as Lucas' walls flutter around him when he pushes in. It makes him moan right into his lover's mouth before he finally covers the latter's lips with his and the kiss their share is sloppy, teeth crashing against teeth as Eliott thrusts in, tongues gliding against one another, swallowing each other's moans. It's incredible and it's perfect in its imperfection, it makes Eliott's toes curl at how good it feels, being inside Lucas and being with Lucas. He wouldn't trade it for anything.

 

"I love you," he whispers into his lover's lips, their gazes locking, both looking equally ruined as they pant into each other's mouths. "Please, don't let me go. I love you so much, Lucas."

 

"I won't. I'll never let you go," Lucas murmurs and he chases the older's lips again, clutching at his shoulders, bringing him even closer. "You're my first and you're my last."

 

Something breaks inside Eliott when he hears those words and tears well up in his eyes. Lucas doesn't even question it, he just wipes the traces of them and kisses his boyfriend once more, tasting salt and sweat on his lips. And the older man can't think, because everything revolves around Lucas, everything is Lucas and he can't help himself for falling even more.

 

Eventually, they start to laugh uncontrollably at how stupidly in love they are, Eliott stops his movements and leans in to kiss his boyfriend once more, a smile curved on his lips as he does so. Lucas moans into the kiss, his fingertips grazing the older man's spine, tracing shapes on his shoulder blades before he realizes how hard he is and wiggles his hips for his lover to move again.

 

And who is Eliott to deny his boy anything? So he moves, his thrusts filled with passion, desire and love that makes his heart burst.

 

Eliott realizes he's really close when his lover starts pushing back against him with every thrust and it's so good that the taller boy elicits a loud groan before he basks in how tight and how perfect Lucas is around is dick. Pulls him in like he wants to keep him inside for a lifetime and Eliott finally, changes the angle so he can bury himself even deeper, but he's still pounding the prostate. To maximize the pleasure, he puts Lucas' right leg over his shoulder and starts thrusting a little tougher, but as slow as at the beginning.

 

Judging by the loud moans that pour out of his lover's sinful mouth, he's close too. He starts this chant of Eliott's name, each one higher-pitched, that precedes his orgasm. So the older man wraps his left hand around the boy's dick and starts pumping it in the rhythm of his thrusts. He also starts to chase his own orgasm, pushing himself deeper and deeper inside of Lucas.

 

He sees the boy underneath him tremble, shudders coming over his body as he practically screams and digs his fingernails in the flesh of Eliott's back. Then, he's costing his lover's hand white, never stopping to moan and wiggling his hips in small circles that make Eliott's head spin.

 

But Eliott needs to come too, so he thrusts inside his boy a little more erratically, ripping overstimulated moans from Lucas before he comes to a halt, buries himself as deep as he can and starts coming, coating Lucas' insides with his seed, marking him inside.

 

It's probably one of the hardest orgasms he has ever had because by the time he finishes his come is seeping out of Lucas on the bed. Even more seeps out when he eventually pulls out. He chuckles when he sees Lucas' gone daze and he kisses his lips chastely.

 

"You like having my come inside you, don't you?" He presses another trail of kisses on his boy's chest and belly before plopping down next to him.

 

"I don't like it, I love it. It makes me think we're really gonna be together forever. I'd never let someone else do this to me, you know?" Lucas whispers and Eliott's heart churns again as he places himself closer to his boy and kisses his neck.

 

"Well, I'm flattered and I also think we're gonna be together forever.Nothing will ever change that. Nothing will ever change us. Not some stupid arguments, not Idriss, not Lucille, not your or my friends. No one, okay? I promise," Eliott murmurs, kissing under Lucas' ear and nuzzling his nose behind it.

 

"You're so cute that all I want is to stay here with you and cuddle but I'm covered with come and sweat, so I'd really appreciate it if you went with me to the shower," Lucas chuckles and cards his fingers through Eliott's damp with sweat hair.

 

"Sure, let's go," Eliott says and stands up, prompting his joints to stumble a little after the previous, mind-blowing sex. He reaches out his hand for Lucas, who takes it immediately and they both just stare at each other for a second before kissing again.

 

Lucas puts his bathrobe on, because he doesn't want to soil anything with the come dripping off him and out of him and Eliott takes one spare towel from Lucas' stash and wraps it around his waist loosely.

 

They exit the room only to be met with two pairs of eyes, which belonged to Mika and Lisa. Lucas cocks an eyebrow in silent question and when it's unanswered he voices it out.

 

"What?"

 

"Nothing, kitten," Mika starts, stumbling a little bit over his words. "I mean, are you alright? The whole house was shaking from what you did back there."

 

Lucas instantly flushes crimson red and Eliott gathers that's the most beautiful sight in the world. He smiles gently and puts his arm around his boyfriend, nuzzling into his hair.

 

"Yeah, I'm alright," the small brunette answers, smiling up at Eliott.

 

"So I guess you're not fighting anymore?" Lisa enquires, making both of them chuckle and shake their heads. "Fuck, here I thought there'd be some good drama."

 

"Well, let's go to Manon and Charles, they're both still fighting. We need to see that," Mika replies and takes Lisa with him, leaving the two lovestruck boys together in a corridor. They both burst out laughing again before Eliott gives Lucas four sticky kisses and then they're off to the shower.


End file.
